Playing Dress up!

When I was a little girl I loved playing with dolls. Barbie was my doll of choice. My favorite part was dressing them up in all the different outfits. So why would that change when I had little girls and TONS of outfits to try them in?

All three of these pictures are of Pepper. It is not because I don't like Izzy! She was just too small at the time to fit into any of them.

These two were taken at my mom and dad's house. The first one is Pepper and the second is Izzy. I love Izzy's pose in this one. I guess she is just giving her fans what they want.

I got these hand knitted dresses at my shower. So sweet!

I hope that I never get tried of getting them ready in the morning. Dress-up time is the best!

Coming home from the hospital

I have really enjoyed posting tons of photos on facebook, but I feel like I am over loading it with all my photos. Not that my friends don't like seeing tons and tons of baby pictures! I just think that they will be better served on my blog. Plus, I need to blog more. It's a much better "scrapbook" then a social network. So here I am again saying that I am going to blog more and apologizing for my lack of dedication in the past. I am going to do better. (I hope)

Tonight: The story of coming home from the hospital.

My stay at Banner Gateway in Gilbert AZ was wonderful. The staff was so nice and helpful. They always made sure that I had everything I needed and even though my babies were in the NICU the whole time, they made it so easy for Cory and I to go and visit and be with them.

We were discharged on Father's Day and received the best news that morning; they were going to let us take Pepper home with us. Yay, I was so happy. I had spent almost the whole day, the day before, crying. I had been told that they were both going to have to stay. So, this news was music to my ears. Pepper was coming home with us! They also let us stay to whole day so as to spend as much time as we could with Izzy before we had to leave.

Bitter sweet.

I got to take my Pepper home, but I had to look into my sweet little Izzy's eyes and tell her that momma had to leave her there. As I write this now, almost two months later, I am wiping tears from my face remembering how much that hurt. I have never had to do something that hard in my life. How can a Mother turn her back on her child and walk away? I know that was not what I was doing, but it felt like it.

The next four days were hell, because I did it over and over to her, again and again. Cory and I took turns going in and feeding her while the other stayed home with Pepper. Every time I drove to the hospital the car would not go fast enough and once I got there it felt like the hallways got longer and longer as I half walked, half ran to get to my little girl, to prove to her that mom was not lying when she said she would be back soon. Not only did I feel bad for leaving Izzy everyday, four times a day, but I also had a newborn at home too. I felt guilty for leaving her too. Where was I supposed to be? I was so happy to be with Izzy but sad to be away from Pepper and so happy to be home with Pepper but hated that I was not with Izzy. Like I said: Hell! Every time I asked when Izzy could come home they said "maybe in the next day or two". I was told "maybe in the next day or two" so many times it made me sick.

I got to know the other moms and dads that had babies in the NICU pretty well, in fact it was the father of one of the other babies that told me I was gong to be able to take my Izzy home. I walked in and as I pasted their bed he said "I hear you get to take your baby home today".

I called Cory! He loaded up Pepper and came to the hospital as fast as he could. (within reason of course! He had a baby in the back seat of his car!)

I have only seen Cory cry maybe two times in our time together, but when he got there and we took those stupid cords off her and she was finally ours to take home, he cried. We didn't have to leave her there anymore! We didn't have to say goodbye! Our family was finally together again. It was truly an "oh happy day" moment.

Pepper & Izzy

Home

We put them in bed together as soon as we got home. Izzy found the only inch of skin that was showing on her sister and touched it.

Twins are a special thing. They share a bond. I know how hard it was for me to not be with my baby, but it brakes my heart to think how hard it might have been on them to not be with their sister; their twin.

My girls are finally home, together.

I had the babies!

Oh, my! Please don't be mad at me for not updating the blog. I have been a little busy, you know having babies and all. Last time I posted was like two months ago and since then a few things have happened. First of all, I got bigger . . . my belly I mean.

This picture was taken at 32 weeks. As I look at it now, I can't believe that I could be so big. It blows my mind that the female body can stretch this much.

This one was taken at 36 weeks or one week before I went into the hospital. I don't think I look much bigger than the picture before, but my belly sure did drop. The babies are ready to come out, and momma wants them out! I was miserable in my last few weeks. My back hurt the most and it did not matter how I laid, I was in pain. We also had a scare with Baby B (Izzy). She was not gaining weight very well after about 32 weeks. At our 35 week check up the doctor said that if she did not gain anything we were going to have to have them early. Luckily, she did gain some weight (about half a pound) and we were able to wait two more weeks to have them.

Labor was great! (to be read with lots of sarcasm!) My husband, Cory and Mom were with me the whole 30 hours! Yes, I said 30 hours! I was so glad when the doctor came in and said it was time to push. Here I was, the last 8 and half months we had been planing for this moment. I was going to have babies!

It took a while for baby A (Pepper) to come out. She had to be sucked out with the help of a vacuum too. During the time when I was pushing her out I ruptured a cyst and unfortunately was losing a lot of blood. When she came out, she was quiet blue and they took her to the warming bed while the doctor and I got ready for baby B. The plan was to turn Baby B around and push her out like normal, but by then I had lost so much blood that the doctor just stared delivering her right away. Thus, Izzy was born breech. One foot and then the rest of her, followed by her head last. Thank goodness she was the smaller baby! They were born around 10pm on June 16th 2010, only three minutes apart. Because Pepper was having a hard time breathing and Izzy had had a hard time gaining weight and only weighed 4 pounds I only got to kiss them each one time and they were taken away to receive medical attention.

I knew that they were going to be fine but it was still sad that I was not able to hold them. In the recovery room I received two blood transfusions and finally felt well enough to go see my girls in the NICU.

This one is Pepper. She weighted 5.5 pounds.

And here is my little Isabelle. She weighed 4.1 pounds.

Both girls did so well in the hospital. After only a few days they both got their IV's out and were taken off the warming beds. They are so beautiful and I can't believe I now have two babies! It's crazy and surreal. I am now a mom.

Look, I made dinner!!!

Anyone who "knows" me knows that I don't cook. I have maybe tried to cook 5 times in the last 7 years with maybe 3 of those dishes turning out. Cory is the cook in our house and he loves to cook, so I don't fight it. However, with two little girls on the way, I wanted to try cooking so if Cory is having an off day we still can eat at home and save some money instead going out to eat.

And look at what I made for dinner . . . .

Cory was laughing at me because I was taking a picture of it and I am so proud. It tasted so good too! News flash everyone . . . ASHLEY COOKED DINNER!

Bouncies for the bears?

I am so excited for my girls to get here! Can I say that too many times? Well, I am, and it seems like everyday that goes by I just get more and more excited. I have really enjoyed making a nursery and getting cribs together and buying things for the girls, but . . . . it seems like my mom is even more excited than me.

Let me explain. She bought a crib for her house before I had one. She was the first person to buy clothes, shoes, hair things, and those kinds of things and bring them over to my house. She bought her car seats at the same time I bought mine. And . . . . .

Well, I went over to her house the other day and she had these up on the counter. My sister put the bears in them. Oh how cute! I hope you guys get a laugh out of it.

26 week picture

Ok, so this is my 26 week picture. I am not actually 26 weeks, I'm 29 right now, but because I am still working, and my life is still crazy busy, I have fallen behind.

We are doing ok for right now. Just in the last week I have started to get a lot of the 3rd trimester symptoms. Such as: I had to take off my rings because my fingers are starting to swell up. My feet also are feeling quite tight in my shoes and just today I can see the swelling in my toes. I have back pains and have had to go to the pool 4 to 5 times a weeks to take some of the pressure off. I am sleeping in one hour intervals now which would be fine if I didn't have to go to work. It is quite hard to be on my game with such little sleep but one hour is still one hour and at this time I will take it!

The girls are doing great! I am having so much fun feeling them move around in my belly. Cory and I have decided on names too. Pepper and Isabelle! They already have such cute personalities. The baby that we call Pepper is on my right side and sits low in my belly. She kicks me all day long. She likes to kick my ribs, my side, the other baby, my bladder, and anything else she can. She cracks my up because if you poke her she will poke (or kick)you back. She is always so active and when she wants to move or change positions, she moves like a crazy girl! Izzy sits front a center with her head down and her butt in the air. She pushes that cute little butt out as hard as she can and will hold it for hours!!! I picture her arms and legs pushing with all her might against my spine and her back against the front of my belly trying to make my womb stretch to a larger size. She already hates sharing with her sister. When she moves or kicks it is slow and with purpose. She is much more mellow then her sister and puts up with her kicking and active behavior better then I do.

Oh, I love them so much!

The cutting of the hair!

Wow, I never knew how long women's hair can grow when they are pregnant. One big plus for me is that, for quite a few months, I have enjoyed beautiful long thick hair. Most of the time when I want to grow my hair out it never happens so well because I happen to had very thin hair. It always seems to become even thinner the longer it is too. But with a large amount of pregnancy hormones running through my body, my hair has stayed thick and rich. However, I still live in AZ.

And with AZ comes it's summers. And with it's summers comes the heat. I just can't stand it anymore!!! The extra "fluff" that we call "da babies" sitting in my belly is adding even more insulation. This has forced me to cut off the hair that for the first time in my life was growing out so well.

It's all cut off!

I do really like it though. My hair stylist is awesome, so it turned out way cute, I just miss my long hair. Too bad, so sad! Maybe if Cory and I decide to have more kids we can plan it so I can keep my long hair though the whole thing.

(That's a good reason to have more kids right?)