One Month Old

I can't believe time goes by so fast and slow. It feels like I have had them with me longer then 30 days, but yet, they are already a month? Slow down girls!

Things I have learned about my girls in the first 30 days of their lives.

Izzy is very curious and likes to look at everything.

Pepper likes to eat.

Izzy falls asleep whenever you put her into her bouncer.

Pepper likes to eat.

Izzy is a morning person, wakes up first and stays up after her morning meal.

Pepper likes to eat.

Izzy learned to sleep for 6 hours through the night.

Pepper did too, as long as she got something to eat.

Izzy loves to have her hands held.

Pepper loves to eat.

Izzy looks up to her big sister.

Her sister is big because she likes to eat.

You get the idea!

Pepper

Izzy

It is funny how different but the same they really are. Izzy is so much like her daddy. She eats like him (slow and fighting me the whole time) acts like him (mellow but stubborn) and sleeps like him (she must have her feet out from under the blanket). And Pepper is just like me. She is a total spaz, can't ever get enough to eat, and already is trying to talk too much. They both have their fathers toes, which can tell you what mood they are in (weird, I know). They both love to ride in the car, and they both LOVE their bath. They could sit in that bath tub for hours!

They are the same in so many ways but completely different.

Happy one month old birthday, girls! Can't wait to see what comes next!

(as I write this they are actually two months old, mommy just fell behind in blogging)

Playing Dress up!

When I was a little girl I loved playing with dolls. Barbie was my doll of choice. My favorite part was dressing them up in all the different outfits. So why would that change when I had little girls and TONS of outfits to try them in?

All three of these pictures are of Pepper. It is not because I don't like Izzy! She was just too small at the time to fit into any of them.

These two were taken at my mom and dad's house. The first one is Pepper and the second is Izzy. I love Izzy's pose in this one. I guess she is just giving her fans what they want.

I got these hand knitted dresses at my shower. So sweet!

I hope that I never get tried of getting them ready in the morning. Dress-up time is the best!

Coming home from the hospital

I have really enjoyed posting tons of photos on facebook, but I feel like I am over loading it with all my photos. Not that my friends don't like seeing tons and tons of baby pictures! I just think that they will be better served on my blog. Plus, I need to blog more. It's a much better "scrapbook" then a social network. So here I am again saying that I am going to blog more and apologizing for my lack of dedication in the past. I am going to do better. (I hope)

Tonight: The story of coming home from the hospital.

My stay at Banner Gateway in Gilbert AZ was wonderful. The staff was so nice and helpful. They always made sure that I had everything I needed and even though my babies were in the NICU the whole time, they made it so easy for Cory and I to go and visit and be with them.

We were discharged on Father's Day and received the best news that morning; they were going to let us take Pepper home with us. Yay, I was so happy. I had spent almost the whole day, the day before, crying. I had been told that they were both going to have to stay. So, this news was music to my ears. Pepper was coming home with us! They also let us stay to whole day so as to spend as much time as we could with Izzy before we had to leave.

Bitter sweet.

I got to take my Pepper home, but I had to look into my sweet little Izzy's eyes and tell her that momma had to leave her there. As I write this now, almost two months later, I am wiping tears from my face remembering how much that hurt. I have never had to do something that hard in my life. How can a Mother turn her back on her child and walk away? I know that was not what I was doing, but it felt like it.

The next four days were hell, because I did it over and over to her, again and again. Cory and I took turns going in and feeding her while the other stayed home with Pepper. Every time I drove to the hospital the car would not go fast enough and once I got there it felt like the hallways got longer and longer as I half walked, half ran to get to my little girl, to prove to her that mom was not lying when she said she would be back soon. Not only did I feel bad for leaving Izzy everyday, four times a day, but I also had a newborn at home too. I felt guilty for leaving her too. Where was I supposed to be? I was so happy to be with Izzy but sad to be away from Pepper and so happy to be home with Pepper but hated that I was not with Izzy. Like I said: Hell! Every time I asked when Izzy could come home they said "maybe in the next day or two". I was told "maybe in the next day or two" so many times it made me sick.

I got to know the other moms and dads that had babies in the NICU pretty well, in fact it was the father of one of the other babies that told me I was gong to be able to take my Izzy home. I walked in and as I pasted their bed he said "I hear you get to take your baby home today".

I called Cory! He loaded up Pepper and came to the hospital as fast as he could. (within reason of course! He had a baby in the back seat of his car!)

I have only seen Cory cry maybe two times in our time together, but when he got there and we took those stupid cords off her and she was finally ours to take home, he cried. We didn't have to leave her there anymore! We didn't have to say goodbye! Our family was finally together again. It was truly an "oh happy day" moment.

Pepper & Izzy

Home

We put them in bed together as soon as we got home. Izzy found the only inch of skin that was showing on her sister and touched it.

Twins are a special thing. They share a bond. I know how hard it was for me to not be with my baby, but it brakes my heart to think how hard it might have been on them to not be with their sister; their twin.

My girls are finally home, together.